4 Ways Win By Quitting

Posted by The Happy Rock on August 31, 2007

Sometimes we get to the end of our rope and realize that what we are currently doing isn’t working. Take heart, despite how we may feel at the time, it might be the best thing that ever happened to us. So many successful people have the rock bottom story that changed their lives. Whether it is when the creditors started calling, the death of someone close, a sunken business, failed college course, or even the loss of a close friend to a huge mistake; they all hold opportunities for growth. Opportunities to change our lives. No matter how we get there, sometimes giving up and admitting that we are sinking is a huge step. Here are a few ways to that you can benefit and deal with ‘giving up’:

Realize that we all make mistakes. Sure some are bigger than others, but it doesn’t matter how we got there. We need to use that experience to change, not to keep ourselves trapped in self-pity and remorse.

Change Your Strategy. The perspective that comes from giving up often reveals the futility of our current course of action. When we are in the midst of the muck and mire, we continue to trudge the current path for lack of a better idea. Once we step back from our problems, we can start to think in solutions rather than problems. When you realize that your current income just isn’t cutting it, you can step back and look for answers. Rather than try and juggle your bills on too little money, we get a second job until we can turn it around. Maybe we sell a car to cut expenses, or even ask for a raise.

Talk to, learn from, and lean on others. The dose of humility that comes with admitting defeat often helps us realize that the task is bigger than us at this time. Talk to you wife, family, and best friends. Find support on a blog, or in an internet community. Give you best friend you credit card, if you can’t stop going into debt. Someone has been in your situation, and in worse. Find some common ground, and let others feed into you. Accept the help, it is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of humility and intelligence.

Divide and conquer. Often we spread ourselves so thin that we aren’t doing anything well, and the house of cards crumble. Sit done, come up with your priorities, and focus on the most important tasks. For example, if you are in over your head in debt, make sure the lights stay on and a roof over your head. Pay the minimum on all the debts, and focus your intensity on getting rid of one.

We have all been faced with turning point moments; the key is how we respond. I have often found that giving up, can be the right choice to turn things around. To wrap up, I wanted to share a small experience from two years ago. I happened to start my MBA, just two weeks before unexpectedly adopted our first son. Being a father to a newborn was quite an adjustment in and of itself, but throw a notoriously undisciplined and unorganized person trying to take two graduate classes on top of that, and I was bruised and beaten to say the least. I trudged through the first quarter, until my wife said this has got to stop. I really felt called to stay in school, but the current strategy(or lack of on) wasn’t working at all. I sat down with my wife, asked for some advice, and got her input on what would make her happy. She helped me lay out a plan for success, and I told her that if it didn’t work after this quarter I would call it quits. To my delight with some prayer and some help, that semester went providentially well. Amen, for giving up!

» Filed Under About Me, Accountability, Positive Thinking

5 Key Strategies For Getting Out Of Debt

Posted by The Happy Rock on August 12, 2007

Being debt free has been more amazing than I thought, and I want others to be able to share in a similar joy. For those who are trying to get out of debt or entertaining the thought, here is some ammunition. As my wife and I and slowly hacked our way out of $70,000 in debt, there were a few key strategies that were extremely helpful:

1. Find Your Passion – Finding your passion is my number tip for anything that requires a large amount of energy and commitment. I started thinking about being debt free, because I realized that I wanted more in life. I wanted freedom to change careers, financial freedom for my family and children(and for their children), security for my family, freedom to pursue my dreams, and to be able to give abundantly. Those are the types of things that get my juices flowing, and the real goals that propelled me to being debt free. What are the things that resonate with you and how does being debt free help you achieve them? Figure that out, and you will be able to harness a powerful motivating force and a set yourself up for some strong endurance.

2. Change Your Behavior – If you are like me, you were in debt because your beliefs and actions towards money got you there. Becoming debt free will require you to change those behaviors and belief structures. Cut up or cancel those credit cards, change how you handle stress or depression, cancel the cable, cut down on your golf, change your ideas on how many toys your kids need. These are the types of things that will heal the financial bleeding. I mention this mainly because people can get caught up in the math of getting out of debt and lose sight of actually changing their behavior. Debt is a behavior problem, not a math problem. We need to stop spending money we don’t have; you won’t get out of debt unless you do.

3. Simplify and Focus – This one is paramount for changing you behavior. Just like multi-tasking isn’t the most efficient way to get things done, spreading yourself/money thin doesn’t work for getting out of debt either. Use your passion to develop a plan that divides your debt up into small steps, and conquer them one at a time. We had $70,000 in debt, so this step was extremely important. $70,000 in debt is a mountain, but we chose to focus on climbing several mole hills.

We focused all of our extra money on debt. And when I say ALL, I mean all. We stopped our monthly savings, 401K, everything. We usually focused the extra money on the smallest debt, unless a higher interest debt made more sense. The reason we started with the smallest debt, was for focus. Each debt you eliminate helps you focus more on the next. Just as the focus on small conquerable pieces gives you more energy and encourages the ever elusive change in behavior.

4. Believe You Can Do It – If you can believe that you will be debt free, you will probably make it. But for those of us who lack self-confidence or have a mountain of debt, dividing the overwhelming task into small manageable tasks helps to breed confidence. With each victory, you can begin to picture yourself debt free. Picturing yourself debt free gets you closer to passion and breeds more energy which creates better focus. Creating such a positive cycle will only help to increase your results.

5. Have An Emergency Fund – Before you start paying down your debt, save a small cushion that shields you from the ups and downs of everyday life. One financial expert, Dave Ramsey, suggests $1,000, and this is a reasonable number. I know that we dipped into the emergency fund a couple times over the three and a half years it took to get out of debt. Things like unexpected car repairs that might have gone on your credit card can come from the emergency fund. The emergency serves as your shield so that you can stay focused.

For those of you in debt, I hope that these tips are helpful. I know they helped me. For those of you feeling beat down: step back, regroup, and come out with your guns blazing. If you need some support, feel free to drop me an email.

If you liked this post, I highly recommend our benefits of getting out of debt and our personal debt story.

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If you haven’t found a solution to your credit card debt, maybe its time you did some research. Consider looking into debt consolidation. Even if you have tax debt, we may be able to help.

» Filed Under Debt Elimination, Favorites, Motivation, Positive Thinking, Psychology of Debt

We are what we think!

Posted by The Happy Rock on May 8, 2007

Any fact facing us is not as important as our attitude toward it, for that determines our success or failure. The way you think about a fact may defeat you before you ever do anything about it. You are overcome by the fact because you think you are. – Rev. Norman Vincent Peale

We start with a quote from the author of The Power of Positive Thinking. I won’t go into the controversy or the following this book has, because we are here to talk about how our thought life changes the physical world we live in. As the quote suggests, what data we choose to interpret and the psychological perspective that we interpret the data from can drastically change the outcomes in our lives.

Picture two young entrepreneurs who on the day off their big presentation are having computer problems and get a flat tire while picking up some last minute supplies. The one entrepreneur says to himself “it is going be one of those days’, and the other “I am prepared for this meeting, and nothing will get in my way”. Intuitively, which entrepreneur do we think will perform better?

Examining the way that we talk to ourselves is one of the easy to spot the psychological context that we are living our lives. The idea is to become aware of how we ourselves and life, and then attempt to create a more useful mental outlook. Awareness will be the key to change. Spend some time actively watching for the assumptions that you are making about the world around you, and how you will interact with it.

“Change your thoughts and you change your world.” -Peale

As we saw on our example, actively work on feeding yourself positive words and mental pictures. As our underlying perspective changes, so will our behavior and outcomes. The inverse of that quote is true too. Change your world, change your thoughts. If a angry and disparaging person attempts to smile and be friendly to his inner circle(even if it is a false pretence), his thoughts and outlook will have a tough time remaining unaffected.