Accepting The Bailout For The Van
Posted by Debt Destroyer on October 17, 2008
I received a ton of good comments on my last post about my bailout option. They were loaded with valuable input. I am constantly thankful for how nice it is to have such a knowledgeable and sharing group to ask these kind of questions to.
And then totally ignore their advice 
That’s right folks, we took the bailout.
From the comments most people were worried about how taking such a gift would affect my relationship with my mother, understandably so. But it was my wife who ended up having the final say in the matter.
She made a very compelling argument on why we should take it.
- It would eliminate our van payment – which was the whole point of selling the van.
- She likes using a “nicer” vehicle for her business.
- We didn’t want to sell it in the first place.
The main point of her train of thought was the part of using the van for her business (wedding photography). She frequently transports the bride and others members of the wedding party in our van, and she likes having a nice vehicle to do this in. ( As superficial as that may sound, remember that Andre Agassi was talking about photography when he said “Image is everything”)
I think under different circumstances we would’ve made a different choice.
For example, not having a full-time job during a severe economic downturn made it difficult to turn down such an offer. Add on top of that a rather hectic schedule and I don’t really have the time to try to deal with this right now. I barely have time to write these posts, much less buy & sell a vehicle.
On the flip-side, if I wasn’t going back to school when we decided to sell the van I don’t think this offer would’ve even be made. I’m pretty sure this is my mother’s not-so-veiled attempt to help me pay for school. I think this because she offered to loan me about this same amount when I said I was going back to school, but I turned her down and took out a conventional student loan instead.
I’m pretty sure she came up with this cockamamie story about my Grandma & my Dad because she knew I’d be too stubborn and turn her down otherwise. And you know what?
I’m fine with that.
I totally understand where the comments were coming from when they said I should stick to my guns, turn down the offer and sell the van. I was there myself a couple of weeks ago. But then life throws you a curveball and all of a sudden your plans have a way of changing.
I’ve been involved with The Happy Rock for less than four months now. And there’s no way that I could’ve predicted that in that time, that I’d lose my job, go back to school, and receive a generous gift.
All I know is that we are committed to a journey that will help us get out of debt so we don’t have to worry about this kind of stuff in the future. Instead we’ll only have to worry about the important issues in life, such as how to get out of Thanksgiving Dinner with the in-laws.
Until next time,
-DD
» Filed Under Debt Elimination, Friends, Serving Others
Helping Friends Save Money Can Be Bad For Your Back
Posted by Debt Destroyer on September 11, 2008
What was I thinking?
Instead of taking it easy this Labor Day weekend, I ended up helping a friend and his family move into their new place. Normally I wouldn’t help someone move on a holiday weekend, especially when they live 200 miles away from me. But this time was different. You see, it was I who convinced them to move themselves instead of hiring movers.
Me and my big mouth.
Part of me blames you. That’s right I’m throwing the Happy Rock community under the bus. If it wasn’t for all the positive comments I’ve received about saving money, there’s no way I would’ve been stuck schlepping boxes all day long. Ask around I’m not that nice of a guy.
It started when my friend was telling me how he was going to move like they did last time. Hire movers for the big stuff ($300+) and then make several trips in their car with the rest of it. I then questioned his intelligence and suggested renting a truck and getting a bunch of guys and paying them with pizza & beer.
He loved the idea.
He rented a truck and lined up a crew (some neighbors and three 18-yr old cousins) and informed me that he was excited about all the money he was going to save. He also thanked me for bringing the idea up in the first place.
“No problem”, I told him.
And there wasn’t a problem…until his crew all ducked out at the last second. The guilt started to overtake me. So when my wife could arrange to hold a photo-shoot only 45 minutes away from their town, I sprung into action and told him the good news, I’d be there.
Luckily for us, two of neighbors were able to help (a husband & wife team). And if you think I’m a sucker, get this; they’ve only known each other for 4 weeks. Not only did they help, but the wife organized the whole operation and kept us on target so we’d be done by 4:30 (when the rental truck was due back).
She did such a good job that we got the truck back with 20 minutes to spare. Instead of pizza & beer, we were then treated to a dinner at a Mongolian Buffet.
So instead of spending $300 and making countless trips in their car like they did the last time they moved, my friend ended up spending $68 for the truck and $100 for dinner.
Not too shabby.
Now it’s the time where I ask for feedback. Please share your stories of how you were able to help friends or family save money with your suggestions. I have to admit that most of my suggestions are not taken, so I was flattered when my friend tried my idea out. I guess they’re right when they say flattery will get you everywhere.
Until Next time,
-DD
» Filed Under Friends
Go Big or Go Home – Why Success Requires Bold Decisions
Posted by The Happy Rock on February 29, 2008
“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”
– Albert Einstein
The truth in that little statement is profound. If we truly want to succeed in our financial life and with our life goals in general, we must be willing to fully commit to our dreams. Often we don’t do much more than give lip service to the big things in life. Now, if you are happy have average or slightly better than average results, than go right on doing same things as everyone else. If you keep using those credit cards, leasing cars, buying cars and houses that our over our price range, spending frivulously, and not saving we can expect to end up like everyone else. If you don’t want to end up like everyone else then we need to stop acting like everyone else.
- Sell the truck that you have a $20,000 loan on.
- Move to a place that will help you accomplish your dreams.
- Cut up the credit cards and stop using debt.
- Take a second job for a little while to get out of debt faster.
- Stop worrying about what people think or how much they have.
- Hang out with friends that will challenge you, not bring you down.
- Drive a reliable beater.
The list could go on and on and on. Personally, I don’t really care what the exact decision is…but that you are paying attention and making intentional bold decisions to advance you towards your dreams.
What bold decisions have been running from?
Post your recent bold decisions in the comments sections as public declaration and an added level of accountability.
Here are my bold decisions.
» Filed Under About Me, Friends, Living with Purpose, Motivation
The 5 Day 4 Night $200 Vacation
Posted by The Happy Rock on January 3, 2008
I finally had to return to work today after 11 glorious days off. The first half of my time off was spent with family celebrating the holidays, and the second half was spent with family on vacation in the Adirondack Mountains of New York. We stayed in a 7 bedroom cabin complete with hot tub, big TV, pool table, 3 floors, 7 bedrooms, and a view of the Sacandaga Lake. The trip was filled with lots of snow, hikes up mountains, great food, fun people, movies, wiiing, and more! I had a great time and feel rested.
How did we enjoy such a great vacation on such small budget? Let’s break down the expenses to see exactly how it happened.
- $100 for gas and tolls. 280 miles and 5 hours one way to Hadley, New York.
- $75 for food. Since we went with 7 other people, we were only responsible for two meals and our own snacks. Every meal that was prepared was really delicious, and we even ate healthy for a vacation!
- $25 for miscellaneous. Rest stops, etc.
- $0 for entertainment. The snow, hiking, wii, movies, hot tub, pool table, friends, professional masseuse(sister-in-law), food, jigsaw puzzles, and children gave us more than enough to do. Everything, especially the 20 inches of snow were awesome.
- $0 for the house. The house was courtesy of my mom, The Happy Rock(er). Here boss provided free use of the house as a perk for being an employee.
You can say we got lucky with the use of the house, and we did, but those sorts of opportunities do arise when you network and help others. Some tips to help cut the other costs of vacation are to invite other people, so a lot fo the common costs are divided up. Also, plan to relax and go with the flow so that you can take full advantage of the ‘natural’ beauty atomsphere of the area. Finally, provide your own entertainment.
Can’t beat $40 a day for a wonderful snow filled retreat!
Principles in Action #2 : Accountability and Friends Can Save Your Finances
Posted by The Happy Rock on October 12, 2007
This is the second post in the principles in action series that will illuminate a practical application of a positive life principal. The first in the series addressed treating others like they have value.
The advertisement @ the Clever Dude was about the 100th time I had been bombarded with the free $250 for opening an American Express Business Rewards Gold Card offer, and I was finally ready to give in and get the money. I usually stay away from signing up for credit card schemes or opening a new savings account at every bank with a good intro offer. I just don’t think these schemes are usually worth the stress, effort, hassle, and most importantly they rob my attention from tasks that I deem more valuable to our overall health and wealth. That offer didn’t fit into our financial plan when we were getting out of debt and still doesn’t, but my resolve was finally beaten down past the point I could handle.
Over dinner I mentioned the offer to The Happy Rockette and asked her opinion. She politely said, don’t worry about it. It wasn’t our style, and her resolve wasn’t waning. She knew our plan and our values, and this wasn’t part of it. Two seconds after hearing that, I snapped back to reality and said ‘you’re right, what was I thinking’. The blinders had lifted, and I was back on track.
The principle here is to involve yourself with people in your life who will keep you accountable. People who will gracefully smack you around, and say you are being silly when they know you have lost your way. During the long haul of climbing out of debt, this is an utter necessity. You will lose focus and self control. At some point life will undoubtedly give you more than you can handle. The trick is to admit ahead of time and plan for it. Start building that support network now.
» Filed Under Accountability, Credit Cards, Debt Elimination, Friends, Marriage, Principles In Action
Friends Matter: Friends Accept Us The Way We Are, But…
Posted by The Happy Rock on June 21, 2007
We want people to accept us, it is a fact of human nature. Time and again you hear people sharing the same thought on friendship, “I want a friend that accepts who I am”. That sounds noble and uplifting enough, but let’s take a deeper look into that idea. Think about examples of people for whom nothing is ever expected. What becomes of the child whose parents give them everything, yet don’t expect anything?
Your dog Max accepts you, and so does a car salesman, or even a drug dealer. The question remains, “is that enough?”. I say no. Personally, I want to have friends that accept me the way I am, but love me enough to not let me stay that way. I want friends that will smack me over the head when I buy a 36″ TV on credit while having no income. I want a friend who calls me to task when I am not a man of my word. Someone who tells me I am not being patient with my son. Friends who are willing to step in and take your keys when they think you have had too much to drink. These are the types of friends that challenge us and help us grow. These are the types of friends that you need around when you are climbing out of $70,000 in debt. These are the types of friends that surround successful people.
Acceptance is not enough, real friends want the best possible life for us. Not the best life they think we should have, but the best life for us. I didn’t marry my wife, because she was the same as me, or because she is beautiful (although she is darn beautiful). I married her because she opens up my world, makes me see the world in new ways, and challenges me, but always always wants the best for me.
The real challenge is to evaluate your relationships, not only by how much they let you be you, but also how much they want you to experience the best. These type of relationships, like most things in this world, don’t start with other people, but with ourselves. We need to invite this type of accountability and friendship.
- Be willing to take all criticism, whether right or wrong, and respond positively.
- Be honest and open up about your dark sides.
- Truly value other’s opinion. People won’t share if they don’t think you’ll care, or if it will break down the relationship.
- Finally, we need to be able to lovingly accept others the way they are, and encourage them to change (if they want it).
Related Reading : Scott Young’s 10 Steps to Honest Feedback
» Filed Under Accountability, Chasing Dreams, Favorites, Friends, Motivation
Friends Matter: Support And Education Through Friendships
Posted by The Happy Rock on June 19, 2007
In the previous post on how friends can shape our perception of reality, I ended with an example about my goal to become an entrepreneur. I came to the conclusion that there is not anyone in my life that can really understand and support that quest; they are all 9-5′ers. Some may even provide resistance. The truth of the matter is that we need some friends in our lives that will be able to challenge us, teach us, and relate to our unique struggles.
I think most of us know this instinctively, but the real work comes when we have to overcome our social awkwardness to seek out these types of relationships. Sometimes we are blessed with friends in our proximity that align with our goals. Often though, this is not the case. These are the times that we need to search out our needs and pursue relationships that will encourage success. This is one of the reasons the blogging community is thriving. It offers easy access to these types of relationship. If I decide to get out of debt, I can easily connect with real people who have gone through or are going through the same journey. They will teach us, support us, and even learn from us. In that vain I have added some entrepreneurship blogs to my reader, but I also plan to try and connect with a person or two in my area. Websites like Meetup can be a valuable tool in forming these types of relationships. Even going to church or community events can be a great place to start your search.
I won’t lie, this will be a goal that stretches me. I am working hard to become more outgoing, but I am far from extroverted. The reason I will succeed is because I realize these types of relationships will be an integral part of achieving my dreams. The passion for the dreams is what will drive me to step out of my comfort zone.
Let us end with an example. My friend Double Eagle over at Life In The Rough has a dream to be a golf pro. An awesome dream, but a dream that will require friends for support an learning. A dream like this will only happen if him to step outside his ‘normal’ circle of friends. Creating opportunities to train under professional golf pros, creating relationships with other aspiring golf pros, and interviewing pros that have been through a similar journey will be invaluable to chasing his dream.
» Filed Under Chasing Dreams, Friends, Living with Purpose, Productivity
Friends Matter : Social Networks Shape Our Perception
Posted by The Happy Rock on June 18, 2007
This post will be part of a larger series called Friends Matter, which will discuss some of the ways that our social networks can support or hamper our personal journeys.
“She has been starting to run with a bad crowd.” At some point we have all heard a parent respond to a question about their teenager’s objectionable behavior with this common phrase. The underlying principle is that ‘who we associate with can play a big role in our choices and actions’. Ironically, we don’t see parents responding with “He has fallen in with a good crowd” when someone complements their son’s good grades, but we will leave that for another day. Parents believe rightly that a child’s friends have a huge impact on their choices, although somewhere along the line we tend to think we matured into free thinking adults. The truth is we need to be aware of the influence that can come our social networks.
Picture a single guy, Jim, who has friends that go into debt for very nice items, such as sports cars, plasma TVs, and golf memberships.
I read a comment on the topic of getting rid of TV from the household that echoed this principle very well. Just one Christmas after removing the TV from the house, the parents were amazed at how content their children were with the meager gifts they could afford. The parents had removed part of their children’s social network that provided them with a significant amount of input. The images on TV had bred a discontent for the lifestyle that the parents could provide. TV wasn’t encouraging the children down a path that meshed with the parent’s vision, so it was cut off.
A good place to start can be to ask ourselves these two questions: What are the players in our social network saying to us? Does it align with my vision for the future?
Here is a quick application from my life. Part of my dreams includes working from home and starting my own business, yet all of the people around me are in 9-5 jobs. Although I enjoy my circle of friends, I would be ‘abnormal’ with regards to my career vision. This says to me that I should augment my network with some entrepreneurs and other people who have transitioned to earning a living from home.
» Filed Under About Me(Goals), Friends, Materialism, Psychology of Debt
The Happy Rock is a dual writer personal finance and personal development community dedicated to creating positive change that propels us towards success.
