Your Money or Your Life? Choosing Between Family and Career

photographer-reflection-cameraAs I mentioned in my About Page, “Your Money or Your Life?” is my favorite personal finance book that I’ve read.  But this post isn’t about the book.

This is about a decision that my wife made today.

As you long time readers know, I’m going back to school, so we’ve been depending on my wife’s wedding photography business to bring in the bacon around here for the past 6 months or so.  And while we’ve had to tighten our belt to make it work, so far it has been just fine.

Today I took a message for my wife from a potential bride who was wondering if her date was still available (a tip for those of you getting married, it’s never to early to line up the photographer).  After I passed on the message I had to go to work so I didn’t get to hear whether or not she booked the gig. But before I left, we joked that it would be the weekend that we’re trying to reschedule our NYC trip (late Aug-Early Sept).

I told her if that’s the case that she should book the wedding because we’ve already canceled the trip once, and it’s questionable if we’ll be in a position to go this year.

During supper tonight she brought up the call. Instead of the NYC trip weekend, it was for the weekend after.

The weekend of my cousin’s wedding.

My wife & I are quite found of this cousin.  Her parents were wonderful to us when we lived in the Twin Cities.  During that time we became very close to their family.   But we’ve moved back to SD five years ago (OMG! it’s been that long) and now we only get to see them a couple of times a year.

We were quite pleased to hear the good news over the holidays.  This particular cousin had once been the “black sheep” of the family. But as she matured she changed her friends, her surroundings, and her lifestyle.   In a very short time, she turned into the “normal” one (if there is such a thing in my family).

In an ironic twist, when my cousin first told me the good news, her original wedding date conflicted with a wedding my wife is shooting.  I figured that me and the kids could take a fun little road trip without Mommy around, but my wife was devastated.  But when my wife called to inform my cousin that she couldn’t make it, she found out that the date had changed.

So now we have a cousin’s wedding with a moving date.  Would she book the wedding or go to one?  What would you do?

It’s a tough call for me.  As much as I’d like my wife to come with us, I’d also like her to have a few more weddings booked too.  That’s one of the problems with this line of work.  All the early calls are for the dates you don’t want to work, but you feel pressured to book them in case the phone stops ringing.  Especially in a recession where you are the sole bread-winner.

My wife told the bride that she was unavailable.

While I’m quite proud of her choosing family time over working, I’m also nervous that phone won’t ring and that we’ll regret this decision later.  But that’s just who I am.  In reality it’ll probably just mean that our NYC trip will transform into a trip to the Twin Cities.

And that wouldn’t be all that bad.

Until next time,

-DD

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