Does this require brutal honesty? Not exactly. It requires honesty that is carefully dealt in the context of respect. In the absence of respect, you see, honesty is a lethal weapon. Perhaps that’s what caused Cicero to add, “Remove respect from friendship and you have taken away the most splendid ornament it possesses.”

To me, friendship implies: loyalty, forgiveness, honesty and dedication.

Best regards!

I read your post and I think that you are right – if you consider yourself to be a good friend of someone, then you definitely should do more than just accept him for what he is (or her)! Not everybody knows what to do with their life or how to do it and a good friend is always needed.

Regards,
Nicusor

P.S. Congrats, your site is now listed on the updated Do Follow List!
You could use one of these images to show your visitors that you joined the Do Follow Movement!

Sweet post, bro. Thanks for the thoughts. Question: in response to your comment ‘be open about your dark side’, do you think there are parameters that we need to put around whom we reveal those truths to? Clearly, we don’t want to be fake with anyone. However, do you have thoughts on how to navigate what we reveal to whom and how we know when it’s safe to share some of the ‘darker’ parts of who we are?

Thanks again,
Tim

I hope things work out for your friends.

As I alluded to in the last line with “if they want” there is a fine line that needs to be walked when we offer advice to others. Usually, we should try and make it an invitation that others can accept. Maybe even a mutual exchange. Something like, “if you are interested I would love to share my experiences and lessons learned while getting out from under 70,000 dollars in debt”. A statement like that tries to reduce judgmental tones, while putting the ball in their court rather than forcing information on them.

Came across this post at a very appropriate time. Been feeling as if letting people be is a bit of a cop-out and it hasn’t been sitting well with me lately. Particularly loving the line
“Acceptance is not enough, real friends want the best possible life for us. Not the best life they think we should have, but the best life for us.”

I have a number of friends I love dearly but have issues to overcome, I hold back from telling them the truth and take a rather passive approach to give them space and time to come round when they’re ready. Lately, I’ve been thinking that it’s not enough and I could do more but didn’t know how or what. You’ve given some good straightforward tips.

Thanks a lot

Lola